Friday, June 11, 2010

Bidet. Bidet. Bidet.

This weekend a good friend from high school is getting married, so last night was her lingerie shower and night out. It was so much fun seeing the girls I spent my high school days with and just enjoying a night out with the girls. Gesell (Allyson pictured below) is my very best friend since 3rd grade, we've never fought (actually we think we got in a typical "i'm ignoring you" type high school fight but that is it). She lives in Santa Monica now, we move back from CA and she moves out there, go figure. Anyways I miss her and I'm so glad I get to see her this weekend! So the night was a blast EXCEPT for what I'm about to describe below. It hit me like a tidal wave and I can't stop laughing about.....
We arrive at Sushi Neko, our group of 12 gets situated and my friend goes to the bathroom. Upon returning she is all "refreshed" and informs me the toilet seat is heated, vibrates and there is a bidet (you know a "ba-day"). I'm like wwwhhhaatt??? A bidet in a public restaurant in a sushi restaurant. RANDOM. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I head to try out the heated and vibrating seat, NO INTENTION OF UTILIZING THE BIDET. I sit my rear on this warm toilet seat, a bit strange but okay where is the vibration? Don't judge me, I just wondered what a vibrating seat would feel like on my toosh. So I look on the wall and see a remote control type thing to operate this fancy throne. I see a button which appears to be a object that looks to be vibrating. Sweet I figured it out. If I could only take it back. Oh man if only I could rewind my finger from pushing that button. The next 30 seconds are in slow motion. I felt like I was in a movie. Button is pushed and I hear a strange noise coming from the back of the toilet seat. In slow motion I turn around to see the commotion, I see a missle about to launch at me. This hose is turning towards me, raising up for lift off . I was scared. I stand up, like standing up was going to make this missle go away? What was I thinking? In a split second the missle launched, water forcefully shooting out of the toilet seat THROUGH MY LEGS AND ALL OVER MY SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not talking a slight mist, I'm talking a full on dreached shirt. I hate air dryers and the one public restroom when I need one the most, doesn't have one. Paper towels only.... I have to walk through the restaurant with a soaked shirt, just wonderful. I go to our table and absolutely lost it, I can't stop laughing to even tell what just happened. 24 hours later I still can't get over it. And I also think, holy hell that bidet was darn right power and now I'm terrified to think of ever actually using one. So lesson learned, remain seated at all times when a bidet is in use :)

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